Berri's Bad Gas Day
by Yoshizilla-Fan
Summary: A.K.A. Berri's Farting Problem Conker dumps the throne to bring Berri back then uses a cheat to get drunk. But when he tries to enter another cheat to get to Berri's house while drunk, Berri gets a bad case of the screaming sh- eh, farts.
1. Chapter 1

**Berri's Bad Gas Day (A.K.A. Berri's Farting Problem)**

by Yoshizilla-Fan

Yoshizilla-Fan: Yes, believe it or not I started playing Conker's Bad Fur Day a couple of days ago, and a theme like the one of this fic would be appropriate for the game, given it's mature rating and the fact that it has toilet humor alongside violence and all the other stuff that makes it mature. It's just too bad that Berri dies at the end, Conker really should have brought her back to life when he got the chance. Oh well. That doesn't mean he can't still do that right? Well I hope you enjoy this, because it fully contradicts the alcohol fic that Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus made about Conker back in 2007!

* * *

Conker was once again walking towards the Cock and Plucker Bar, determined to drink more alcohol to calm himself down before his next date with Berri, who was somehow brought back to life. Conker walked up to the squirrel bartender.

"One bottle of your finest alcohol please." Conker ordered.

The squirrel bartender turned around and saw Conker, recognizing him. "Oh hey Conker. What brings you here? And why arn't you wearing your crown?"

"I'm not the king anymore! I told those bastards to fuck themselves and then I threw away the throne, and the crown! And then I begged the game programmers to bring Berri back to life, and so now everything's back to normal, except for the Fairy Panther King, Weaso and the Professor being gone." he said.

"I see. So who's the king now?" the bartender asked.

"Don't know, don't care!" Conker exclaimed.

* * *

Meanwhile, at the throne room...

"Looks like you're going to have to be the new king, little squirrel with the glasses and the indestructible armor." said Franky the Pinchfork.

"What? No! I couldn't." Rodent claimed.

"You seem to be connected with Mr. Squirrel better than anyone else. So take the throne or I'll stab you in the freaking arse!" Franky exclaimed.

"Ok ok!" Rodent said, picking up the crown that Conker threw, which had a dent in it. "But just so you know, even if you stabbed me, my indestructible titanium laminate armor would protect me."

"All hail the new king!" said Ron the paint bucket.

"Yeah. All hail the new king!" said Reg the paintbrush, who was standing next to Ron.

"STOP COPYING ME YOU FUCKING HORSE'S TAIL!" Ron screamed.

"Wow. It's hard to believe that curse words arn't censored in this fanfic." mentioned Franky.

"Well don't worry. This fanfic is rated M, and plus the author who indirectly inspired the author of this fic to make this fic uses curse words in his fics too." said Ron.

"Yeah! Don't worry. This fanfic is rated M, and plus the author who indirectly inspired the author of this fic to make this fic uses curse words in his fics too." copied Reg.

Ron's left eye twitched as he gave Reg a hard, angry stare. "I should just kick your ass right now! If you had one!" Ron threatened.

"Says the can of paint who gets to let me put my "ass" inside of him!" joked Reg.

"That's it! You're going to hell!" Ron tackled Reg, causing paint to spill all over the throne room floor as Franky tried to break up their fighting, but got caught in it. Pretty soon, everyone in the throne room was fighting, even the Panther King's former weasel servants and Marvin the Mouse. Everyone, except Rodent, who just cowered in the corner.

* * *

"Anyway, I need a drink so I can calm down before my next date with Berri." said Conker.

"Berri? Didn't that Weavo guy kill her?" wondered the bartender squirrel.

"Yes, but the other day while I was sitting in the throne room, the game programmer came by and I got him to bring Berri back to life for me! That's when I decided to throw in the throne so I could be with Berri again."

"Interesting. Now I gotta put up with you again."

"Just give me my damn alcohol please!" Conker said, raising his voice.

"No! Everytime you come here to drink, you get too drunk and you are never able to get back to your girlfriend Berri without running into all kinds of trouble, especially at the areas surrounding Windy. And how could you forget what happened that day. I'm sorry Conker but if this is how every freaking day is going to be for you, then you get nothing!" the bartender squirrel complained.

Conker cussed to himself as he walked away. "Hmm...there's gotta be a way for me to get my drink for the day today..." he said as he thought to himself, shaking and scratching his head. "I know! I'll use the power of context sensitive!" he claimed. "No wait there arn't any B platforms nearby, and it's raining outside!" he counterthought. "Wait! I've got it!" he said, a lit lightbulb appearing above his head even though he was not on a context sensitive pad. Conker walked over to the fire imp that was maintaining the fireplace in the bar.

"Hey you. I need to type in a cheat." Conker said to the fire imp.

"Oh sure go ahead. Bastards come in here all the time typing in cheats just so they can beat the freaking game! Go on ahead!" the fire imp complained.

"Conker placed his fingers on the cheats keyboard, and typed in the cheat code "FREEALCOHOL", then typed "Enter/Return".

"Yep. That'll work!" said the fire imp, shaking his head yes while giving a thumbs up.

Then, the bartender squirrel walked up to Conker, making him turn around. "Conker, perhaps I was a bit too hasty. Feel free to drink all the alcohol you want!" he said, obviously affected by the cheat code that Conker put in.

"Thanks mate!" Conker said as she went to the back of the pub and started gulping down as much alcohol as he could, without any complaints from anyone which came from the result of the cheat.

Several minutes later, Conker came back out, dazed and drunk. "Ok. Now for my -HIC- date with Berri!" Conker slowly made his way towards the door, hiccuping and nearly losing his balance along the way.

"Hey kid! Don't get lost again! You don't want to stand up your girlie again! You might ger her killed again!" said the fire imp.

"You...you're -HIC- right!" Conker said while lifting his arm and pointing up. "I gotta make sure -HIC- I get to Berri's house without any -HIC- problems!" Conker walked over to the fire imp's fireplace again, proceeding to type in another cheat code, this time a cheat code that would get him to Berri's house without any problems.

"Ok...B-E-R-R-I..." he said while typing "BERRI" in. Meanwhile, a random squirrel accidently stepped on Gregg the Grim Reaper''s robe.

"Hey! Watch where you're walking you Shithead with a capital S!" Gregg cussed. Conker overheard this and unintentionally typed an S in, being too drunk to realize what he was typing in.

"Oh come on! What I did was not that bad!" said the random squirrel as Conker unintentionally typed in "BAD" after the squirrel said it, again being too drunk to pay attention to what he typed.

"Yeah and the next thing you know you'll get stranded in the middle of a desert and die like a car or motorcycle that just ran out of gas!" Gregg insulted, with Conker overhearring and once again putting his subconscious attention on the last word he heard, and then typing in the word "GAS" without a note of any typos.

"...and then you'll beg me to bring me back to life!" finished Gregg.

"You know what, forget it." said the random squirrel. "I've had enough of this for one day." And yes, Conker once again put his focus on the last word and typed in "DAY". At the point, the cheat said "BERRISBADGASDAY". Conker then snapped into attention as he pressed the "Enter/Return" key without noticing what he had typed in.

"Yep. That works!" said the fire imp while giving a thumbs up and shaking his head yes.

"What do you mean? I'm still here! The cheat didn't work!" Conker complained.

"Yes it did! I know when a cheat code works and when it doesn't work!" said the fire imp.

"Ahh screw you to hell! I'll find my own way." Conker yelled, then turning around. "Stupid good for nothing tricky firey inbred from hell who deserves to fuck himself..." Conker said to himself.

"I heard that!" yelled the fire imp, insulted by what Conker said.

Conker simply ignored the imp and left the bar, trying to figure out which way to go. Conker walked to the right, avoiding the Monk Gobling, who was reading his stone tablet as usual.

* * *

Meanwhile, at Berri's house...

After doing some more of her workouts while listening to music, Berri was standing around with her arms crossed, shaking her head while moving her foot around impatiently.

"Like, I hope Conker doesn't stand me up again." Berri said to herself. "Just because that little furball got the game programmers to bring me back to life doesn't mean he can keep ditching me for alcohol every chance he gets."

Berri's stomach growled loudly, causing her to place her hands on it. "All this exercising has like, made me hungry."

Berri farted loudly, ger gas echoing throughout the house, causing her to blush as her eyes widened. "Oh my gosh! Did I just like, let one out?" she said, embarrassed as she pooted another raunchy one, causing her to blush more. "Gosh I hope I don't rip one in front of Conker."

Berri walked over to the door "Maybe this time I'll look for him instead. He probably got drunk again. So I'll go to the Cock and Plucker and like see if he's there."

Another loud gas blast pooted it's way out of Berri's sexy ass, causing her to blush as she placed her hands on her butt as more farts came out, each one louder and raunchier than the last. "My gosh! Like why can't I stop?" she said, before letting out a loud, 10 second fart that went from raunchy to wet, causing a dark stain to appear on the back of her pink panties. Berri gasped as she looked at her butt, which was stained from her loud farts.

"Just great! Now I have to go change." she said, frustrated as she walked sexually to her room, more loud poots coming out.


	2. Chapter 2

Berri was in her dressing room, looking for a nice, clean pair of clothing to cover her sweet, sexy rear.

"Ok. So like, something here should get me out of these old clothes." she said, looking in the mirror and placing her hands on her hips, farting loudly again as the dark spot on the back of her sweatshorts grew darker. "Boy, like why am I so gassy?" she thought. Looking through and then finding a nice pink shirt and a matching pair of pink jeans.

"Ooh. These are like, perfect!" Berri said to herself, stripping off her dirty sweatshorts and her sweatshirt, leaving on nothing but her white underwear, placing on the nice, pink shirt that covered her belly button along with the tight pink jeans.

"Ok. Now I look trendy." Berri said as she looked at herself in the mirror. Suddenly, Berri farted loudly again, her gas puffing up the tight pink jeans. "Oh gosh! I sure hope I don't..." Berri farted another one, this time being wet and feeling something in her bowels as they started...acting up.

"...shit myself..." she finished.

Meanwhile, Conker was still drunk, looking for Berri's house as he accidently wandered into Windy, seeing the Nasty/Nice sign in front of him. Suddenly, Birdy the Scarecrow popped up in front of him, spooking him.

"Yeah uh...hi." said Birdy, squirming around, like he always does.

"Oh hey Birdy. What brings you here?" said Conker.

"I heard you're uhh...not the king anymore, and Berri's uhh...alive again. Yeah." he said, still squirming.

"Yeah. Why are you really here?" said Conker.

"Just uh...making sure you don't...eh...get lost again. Yah. Try going back, then uh...use Context Sensitive to uh...sober up."

"Oh...uh ok. But then how will I get to Berri's house? I can't get back to Berri's house from the Hungover chapter, or any chapter!" said Conker, nearly falling over but getting back up.

"Oh!...uh...speaking of chapters...eh...let's finish this one!" said Birdy, taking out a bottle of alcohol, drinking it and falling asleep.

"Maybe I should go back to the pub and try using a cheat again. Maybe it'll work after I sober up." he said, walking back to the pub still drunk and stuff."

Back at Berri's house, Berri was sitting on the can, proceeding to get those brownies out of sexy butt. Berri squeezed her butt in and pushed as hard as she could with both her hands on her stomach as a barrage of loud farts came out instead.

"Come on..." she said to herself as more loud farts erupted from her furry ass. Suddenly, her butt released a loud, strong 5 second fart that ended up destroying her toilet, leaving it in pieces.

"Oh no...that's not possible!" she said. "Now how am I going to rid my butt of all this crap...this...literal crap?" she wondered, holding it in as her bowels tried to push it out. "Oh! I got it! It's a long shot, but I don't have another choice." Berri said, leaving her house and heading out for Poo Mountain, holding her butt cheeks with both her hands, trying to keep it in, and hoping it doesn't turn into the screaming shits.


	3. Chapter 3

Berri was behind the Poo Cabin at the foot of Poo Mountain, squatting with her pink jeans and panties down as she was trying to do her business where it most seemed ok after the toilet at her house broke. Loud farts followed by 'brownies' emerged from her big butt, with Berri grabbing her stomach while blushing in pain.

"This is so totally gross!" she thought to herself as she kept pooping. "Oh well. At least no one will care that I take a dump here where everything is made of it..."

Two big red Dung Beetles were chatting near the top of Poo Mountain when they overheard Berri's grunting and her loud farts.

"Hey. Someone is here. Behind the cabin." said one of the Dung Beetles.

"So? First of all it's obvious that someone is there, and second what does that matter?" asked the other beetle.

"Well, I've never heard farts as loud as that before. Someone must be taking one hard dump back there!" he pointed out.

"Hmm...you're right. You wanna go check it out?" the other beetle replied out of curiosity.

"Sure." agreed the first beetle.

Both Dung Beetles flew over to see who was behind the Cabin and saw Berri, who was still squatting and pooping as louder and grosser farts erupted from her sexy butt.

"Hey! Isn't that uh...Conker's...y'know...lady friend?" wondered the first beetle.

"Yeah! But how is she alive? Word around all the land is that Weavo killed her!" said the second beetle.

"I guess Conker must of brought her back to life or something." the first beetle replied. "After all, word around the land is that he's not the king anymore. Rodent is."

"Yeah, but maybe something went wrong with bringing her back. Because look at all that crap!" the second beetle noticed how much poop had emerged from Berri's big, gassy butt as she still continued farting non-stop.

"Oh gosh! Like what the hell did I eat!?" she said, gasping as she looked at how much poop she has released. "What is happening to me? It's like-" she suddenly noticed the two Dung Beetle buzzing above her, causing her to shriek as she quickly pulled up her panties followed by her pink jeans, ignoring the fact that they would get dirty.

"Like, a little privacy please!?" she screamed, embarrassed after being seen by the two beetles.

"Yeah sure. We'll give you your privacy. Heh heh." said the first beetle, chuckling.

"Yeah. And y'know with all that crap that just came out of your butt, you don't even have to enter the cabin and request Poo Balls! You can make one yourself!" the other beetle said, both beetles laughing at the cruel joke that really didn't seem farfetched by the size of Berri's 'business'. Berri, who was annoyed by the beetles and their insults, simply glared at them as they buzzed back to the mountain and walked out, not caring about the horrid stench of her loud gas or the surrounding stench of the mountain itself as she walked back to Windy as more loud, raunchy and/or wet farts erupted from her big, sexy butt, the back of her pink jeans becoming darker and possibly browner.

"Well...at least it's not number two...anymore." she said in response to her loud, possibly tuba-like farts that continued to pass from her big butt as she walked away from Poo Mountain, hoping to find a way to make it stop.


	4. Chapter 4

After sobering up, Conker found Berri's house after a hard time looking.

"All right! Finally I made it to Berri's place without a problem!" he said, raising his arms in triumph. Suddenly, something quickly popped out of the ground, causing Conker to fall back, landing on his...oh never mind. It was the earthworm from Windy's spiral road to windmill.

"Hey! I know you! You're that worm who tried to maul me to death!" Conker said. "You better tell your skeletal friend over at my great-great-great-great-great-grandpa's mansion to pay for all the chocolate I had to eat and all the tails I lost trying to get past both of you!" Conker yelled.

"Enough!" said the earthworm in a hissing voice. "You rolled over me and my undead counterpart many times with your stupid barrel, and now, you must PAY!" he yelled, his voice getting louder as he spoke. Conker tried to run away, but the earthworm grabbed his tail and mauled him to death, his blood and guts spilling everywhere. "Yes! My revenge is now compl-" Suddenly. Mr. Barrel literally rolled by, doing a barrel roll, running over the earthworm and killing him again, leaving a puddle of his own blood behind. Oh by the way, don't worry about Conker. He'll be fine. He has extra tails (or chances as Gregg the Grim Reaper says) doesn't he?

Meanwhile, Berri walked to the barn where Conker defeated the Haybot, rubbing her butt as it kept letting out loud tuba farts after loud tuba farts that got louder and nastier, the back of her pink jeans becoming darker and darker.

"Ohhh this could not be more gross!" she complained to herself, letting out another loud one that puffed up her pink jeans. "Maybe someone around here can help me..."

Meanwhile, Mr. Bee was getting it on with Mrs. Sunflower as Berri quickly noticed this, overhearing the loud moans that came from both of them. "That was delightful!" Mr. Bee said, feeling great. "And now that Mrs. Bee is dead after that windmill fell on her, I don't have to be in a love triangle anymore, which makes all the more reason to get in on some boobag- eh...pollination from you!" he said to the sunflower.

"Oh stop!" she replied in a sexual manner, blushing as she placed one of her leaf-shaped arms over her cheek while rubbing her large breasts with the other.

Suddenly, much to...well, no one's shock really since no one saw this, Mrs. Bee came rushing through the entrance hole. "Now that I'm up and flying again after having been wounded from that windmill falling on me, it's time for me to get revenge on whoever killed me and my fellow bees!" she said angrily. Suddenly, Berri farted loudly again, the horrid stench knocking Mrs. Bee out. Mr. Bee stopped and looked around, only to see nothing of surprise, and went back to fuc- I mean, pollinating Mrs. Sunflower.

"Gosh, I'm glad that didn't happen to that sunflower, otherwise she would of wilted and that other bee would hate me!" Berri said, placing her hands on her butt as louder, more disgusting farts pooted out, sounding wet as the back of her pink jeans got puffier and darker. Berri simply groaned as she left the Barn area, still looking for a way to stop farting.


	5. Chapter 5

At the winding road to Count Batula's mansion, several of the fleshy earthworms from Windy were chatting with the undead ones on the winding road.

"So how come you guys are made of bones when we fleshy worms don't have bones?" asked one of the fleshy worms. "And isn't it contradicting considering that you might be us after that squirrel rolled us over or something?"

"I don't know, this world we live in is fictional, and not for kids!" replied the tiny undead worm at the end of the hill next to the bigger one, with all the other undead worms agreeing.

"I agree! Fictional because it's a fan fic!" said one of the other undead worms.

Suddenly, a huge boney hand came in, holding Conker, then dropping him on the road.

"Well well well. Look who it is. Someone we hate. Because they barrel rolled over us!" said one of the fleshy worms.

"Oh hey guys! I saw my great-great-great-great-great grandpa and The Great Mighty Poo while I was in hell." said Conker, ignorant to the situation he was in with the worms.

"...So?" said one of the worms.

"So I got the game programmer to do me a favor." said Conker.

Conker quickly ran back to Windy, with Mr. Barrel coming in and crushing all the worms again, killing them.

"Gee. I wonder if all this will contradict what happens 200 years from now when that professor returns and once again gets his Tediz against SHC." said Conker to himself as he swam in the river and back to Windy through the waterfall.

Meanwhile back with our feminine farting er...ferret?... Berri was still ripping huge ones as her powerful gas began to stink up the Windy air, and with the windmill gone, her bad gas practically stayed in the area as it accumulated from Berri's butt, which appeared puffed up from her tight, pink jeans.

"Like, good thing there's no one around..." she said to herself, holding her big butt with both hands as louder and raunchier farts that we're at time wet came out of her perfect ass, her panties getting gradually browner. "My gosh why can't I stop?" Berri smacked her butt cheeks, which caused her to release a huge blast of gas that literally blasted her up the worm hill to the windmill's former place, a trail of green, smelly gas behind her as she farted her way to to the windmill, losing her balance and falling in, landing on her big, beautiful and gassy butt as it released another gas blast that lifted her off the ground for 5 seconds. Berri groaned in pain as she got up and rubbed her butt, which continued passing gas as she noticed the nearby tunnel and decided to check it out.

Meanwhile, Birdy the Scarecrow was snooping behind the log, having seen the whole thing and fapping his straw penis along to Berri's beautiful and well shaped butt with all it's putrid gas constantly pooting out of it. Birdy clumsily and slowly tried to make his way up the hill, following Berri as he wanted more arousal from her. 


	6. Chapter 6

Conker was walking back to the Cock and Plucker when he saw Waluigi and his Taco Stand from another story by a different author.

"G'day mate. Do you sell tacos? I'm kinda getting sick of chocolate and alcohol." said Conker to Waluigi, who stood there with a peeved look on his face.

"Didn't you read the sign? Of course we do!" said Waluigi. "And the only reason I set up my stand here was to get away from...her." he said, referring to Daisy.

"Her who?" Conker asked.

"She's not important. You wanna buy a taco or not?" said Waluigi, his patience wearing thin.

"Sure. Give me a million dollars worth!" said Conker, pulling out one million dollars of money that he got at the Federal Reserve Bank.

"Really? I picked the perfect place to set up my stand!" exclaimed Waluigi as he collected the million dollars and gave Conker his million tacos without any second thoughts.

"Thanks squirrel! Now I'm gonna go somewhere else to restock!" said Waluigi as he packed up everything and moved on, the million dollars in his pocket. Suddenly the million dollars all popped out of his pocket and came back to Conker, who knew the money would come back to him, oh that greedy, clever squirrel.

After Waluigi was long gone, Conker wondered what he was going to do about the million tacos he just scammed Waluigi out of.

* * *

Berri was back at the Federal Reserve Bank's entrance, still releasing loud tuba farts as her pink jeans puffed up more and more, her panties possibly becoming browner with every fart.

"Like, haven't I been here before?" she said to herself as place her hands on her hips, farting again.

Berri turned around and saw the broken bridge as Don Weavo opened the door behind her, somehow surviving what had happened before.

"If I ever get mixed up with that squirrel again, I'm going to kill him with my-" Don Weavo froze in horror when he saw Berri, whom he has obviously killed before, his shades cracking from the tension.

"No...she's dead...I killed her..." Weavo uttered to himself, stepping back with his eyes widened and his ego shaken. "I KILLED YOU!" he screamed, causing Berri to turn around, remembering what happened before. Berri grabbed Don and place his head between her nasty butt cheeks, farting directly in his face, seeking revenge for what had happened before inside the vault.

"This'll like, teach you to shoot me!" said Berri as she continued farting loudly in Weavo's face, much to his horror, the smell piercing his snout. "Now I'm going to-" Berri suddenly farted so powerfully that she propelled over the bridge to the other side where all the signs were.

"That was like, uncalled for!" Berri's stomach growled loudly as she felt something other than gas in her bowels. "Oh great, now I have to like, scream shits again!"

Meanwhile, Don Weavo gasped for air, vomiting as he then passed out from the smell of Berri's rotten gas which for some reason smelled worse than Marvin the Mouse's gas, with Birdy hopping by as he jumped off the edge from the Bank side and went for the ropes to get to the other side.


	7. Chapter 7

Berri was once again at the base of Poo Mountain, dropping brownies as she groaned, hoping that the whole thing would be over, much to no avail.

"Hey look. It's her again. That lady who's full of poo just like those cows we have." said one of the giant Dung Beetles on the side of Poo Mountain, chatting with another one.

"But that bloody squirrel killed our cows just to get some poo balls. Remember?" said the other Dung Beetle.

"Oh yeah. Why didn't we do anything about it? We could of beat the shit out of that twat!"

Berri finished up, putting back on her panties followed by her tight pink jeans, which were stained as Berri had nothing to wipe herself.

"Ah who cares. No one cares about this game anymore. All they care about is for the stupid beta version to get leaked."

Berri overheard, suddenly feeling something in her bladder.

"Why did you have to say 'leaked'!?" she yelled to the Dung Beetles, grabbing her clit as she looked for a place to urinate, feeling the need to do so as more smelly farts erupted from her ass, causing her jeans to puff up more and the stain on the back on them to get even darker.

"You could pee here, ya know!" said the first Dung Beetle.

"You idiot! This is Poo Mountain, not Pee Mountain!" said the other Dung Beetle as he slapped him.

"Aw yeah..."


	8. Chapter 8

Berri was outside of the Cock and Plucker, having gotten away from Windy, and having farted loudly the whole way, her pink jeans puffed up and stained on the back as a result.

"Ok, so this is like, the one place that Conker is usually at." Berri claimed, before farting loudly again, her rotten gas sounding like a loud trombone, then getting deeply pitched as the back of her pink jeans puffed up, getting dirtier than ever. "My gosh, I should like, change before I go in that pub!"

Suddenly, Birdy popped out of the ground, catching Berri off guard as she farted a squeaky one, while Birdy kept wobbling back and forth as he spoke. "Hey! It's me! Mr.- Oh, eh...I mean eh, who...are eh, you?" he asked, somehow forgetting that he was chasing her because of her sexy farting.

"I'm Berri. I'm looking for Conker, who happens to me a red squirrel." Berri responded, farting a silent but deadly one. "And who are you?"

Birdy continued wobbling back and forth, tilting forward as he kept speaking. "Oh! I uh, saw a red squirrel too! Yeah. OH! My name? Eh...Birdy."

Berri looked at Birdy in confusion. "Beardy? But you like, don't have a beard!"

Birdy shook his head back and forth. "No. Birdy. I scare birdies! Eh...you know, it's funny, because eh, that squirrel of yours, he eh...got confused too."

"Can you just like, tell me where he is?" Berri farted loudly again, the tuba-like gas knocking out some of the nearby passing squirrels that were walking in or out of the pub, causing her to place her hands on her butt over the stain, trying to cover it as she pooted silently.

"Oh! Eh...Try the pub. I don't know...Nighty night." Birdy quickly took out a bottle of alcohol, drinking it as he then fell asleep.

Berri sighed as she walked into the pub, trying to hold in her smelly ass gas as she looked for Conker. Some of the guys in the pub started eyeing Berri, noticing her sexy body and her big butt, surprisingly not noticing the brown stain on it.

The Bartender also noticed, staring at Berri as he accidently poured alcohol on another squirrel's head, not noticing. "Oh hey. We don't get many ladies in this here pub! What brings you here?"

Berri walked up to the Bartender. "I'm like, here to find Conker. Where like, is he?"

The Bartender got a towel, wiping off the counter as he spoke. "Haven't seen him in a while. He cheated me out of free alcohol with a cheat code, got drunk, then I went to the back, and when I came back, he was gone."

Berri looked around for a moment, then back at the bartender. "Well, if you like, see him again, I wanna be like, the first to know-"

Suddenly, Berri farted much louder, her gas echoing throughout the bar as the rotten smell caused all the other squirrels to either gag or pass out, except for the Bartender, who fanned the air, trying to get the smell away.

"Umm, lady, the bathroom is over there." he pointed out, pointing at the bathroom door with one hand while fanning away Berri's foul smelling gas with the other, with Berri blushing in embarrassment as she fanned the smelly air around her butt, farting more silent but deadlies as she did.


	9. Chapter 9

Berri was in the Cock and Plucker's bathroom, looking at her butt in the mirror, which was heavily stained from her huge farts, as well as appearing puffed up from her tight pink jeans. Berri sighed as she shook her head.

"Well, at least things can't get any worse than this..."

Berri farted loudly again, the brown stain getting larger as she suddenly felt the need to take a dump.

"Damn it! Now I gotta like, drop one!" Berri proceeded to sit on the toilet, but suddenly the toilet yelled in agony, surprising her as she fell forwards.

"Good god, you dare use me when you've already crapped yourself!?" spoke the toilet, causing Berri to gasp in shock. "Hey! how dare you like, scare me like that?"

"Sorry. But I refuse for you to do your business on me with a dirty butt like that! Anyway, my name's Loggo. I come from the Banjo Kazookie 64 world. That Banjo head and Kazookie umbrella in this pub arn't the only things from that world, y'know!"

Berri stood up, placing her hands on her hips as she had a serious expression on her face. "Look, I've like, had it as it is. I can't even like, do my business without the toilet being alive? I felt better at Poo Mountain."

Loggo simply looked around in confusion. "Just do it in the bowl and I won't mind." he spoke through loud fart sounds.

Berri's expression turned sour as she let out another nasty fart. "I'll teach you to spook me!"

Berri pulled down her dirty pink jeans and her muddy panties, sitting on Loggo as she farted loudly on him, much to his painful screaming. Berri simply grunted as she did her business in him, her bowels emptying as those brownies escaped her butt, loud farting accompanying her pooping as she sighed of relief, feeling good empty after having taken a long dump.


	10. Chapter 10

Berri marched out of the pub's bathroom angrily as she let out several more farts with each step, each one making Berri's brown stain on her tight pink jeans dirtier as the jeans puffed up more with each poot. "Stupid toilet! That's the last time I ever like, drop my brownies or even my lemonade here!"

The fire imp from the pub's fireplace noticed Berri, seeing the muddy stain on her puffed up pink jeans. "Hey lady, you need help with something?"

Berri noticed the small fire imp, pooting silently as she did. "How can you like, help me?"

The fire imp stepped over to the side as a keyboard popped up. "Just enter a cheat and your problems will be gone! I recommend 'UPANDCLEAN'."

Berri walked over to the cheat keyboard. "Ok...?" Berri cautiously typed in that code, then hit the enter key. Suddenly, the brown stain on the back of her pink jeans were gone! And the jeans went puffed up anymore either. Berri looked at this in shock as she turned around. "Oh wow! That like, amazing!"

A silent poot that lasted for 10 seconds escaped Berri's sexy butt, causing her to sigh. "Is there like, a cheat that can get me to stop farting?" she asked as she noticed that her farts were smelling worse.

The fire imp thought for a moment, then shook his head dramatically. "Nope! And besides, this whole fanfic would lose it's point and it's plot!"

Berri groaned as she buried her hands in her face, more nasty farts erupting from her gassy ass as many of the other characters in the pub began to either cough and gag or leave because of the rotten smell. "How did this all like, start in the first place anyway?"

The fire imp thought for a moment again, then a light bulb appeared over his head, which then shattered as it hit the ground. "Easy. Earlier someone entered the code 'BERRISBADGASDAY'. I can't remember who, I just remember this guy was drunk."

Berri suddenly got an idea as to what happened to her, letting out a surprising fart in response. "Of course!" Berri walked to the middle of the pub, more poots coming out of her smelly ass as she ignored her surroundings and the smell that filled the pub. "When I like, find out who did that, I'm going to like, do something to them!"


	11. Chapter 11

Conker walked into the Cock and Plucker, expecting another drunk hangout with a few of his buddies as he walked in. Then he saw Berri, gasping as he did. "Oh hi Berri! What are you doing here?"

The fire imp noticed Conker. "Hey! That's him! That's the guy that entered the code."

Conker rubbed his head in confusion. "Code? What code?"

Berri placed her hands on her hips, farting loudly as it sounded like she had pooped herself, then she pointed at Conker, pooting again as she did. "You! You like, did this to me!"

"Don't you remember BERRISBADGASDAY? That code?" the fire imp reminded him.

Conker looked at him for a moment. "What? I was too drunk!" Then Conker realized something as he snapped into reality. "Oh wait now I seem to remember!"

Berri looked at Conker with an angry expression as her poots started to sound more wet, the back of her jeans turning brown. "So you did like, do this to me! How could you?"

Conker slapped himself in the forehead in regret. "How do I keep getting myself into these things?"

Berri then grabbed Conker, picking him up as she dragged him out of the bar, farting loudly again as Berri continued farting grossly, the hot brown liquid in the back of her jeans dripping down her legs. "You're like, gonna pay for this!"

"Please! What are you gonna do? Torture me with your farts? I swam through a huge vat of poo! I can handle anything gross!"

Berri then carried Conker all the way to a back alley behind the pub, setting him down as she placed her big butt on him, farting loudly and grossly. "Oh really? Well just wait until you literally get a load of this!" Berri grunted, farting more loudly in Conker's face, the back of her pink jeans were now as brown as Donkey Kong's fur as she continued baking brownies in Conker's face. And surprisingly, Conker was screaming loudly as he had never dealt with anything like that before.


	12. Chapter 12

Berri continued farting in Conker's face, still angry with him as she didn't care that the back of her pants were heavily brown stained and possibly filled with "baked brownies". As Berri's farts got louder and nastier, Conker began screaming for his life as Berri's farting combined with her accidental but somehow intended pooping started to smell worse than anything Conker's even been through during his Bad Fur Day relating to poo.

"Ok! I've had enough! Please! Stop!" Conker yelled, pleading for his life as he could no longer stand to have his face buried in Berri's poo covered butt.

Berri released Conker from her grip, crossing her arms in annoyance. "How could you like, do this to me? What were you like, thinking? This is why I hate it when you like, drink! Stop drinking, you stupid bloody squirrel!" Berri growled at Conker, farting again as it started to sound completely wet, with the back of her pink jeans bubbling grossly.

Conker got up as he placed his hands on his head, trying to regain focus, feeling woozy. "Gosh Berri! There's no need for you to be so redundant about this! Besides, it's part of the fanfic's plot! You must go with it anyway!"

Berri looked up, releasing another powerful and deep pitched wet toot that only added to the grossness within her butt, which was now completely brown from all the poo that came out of it. "Fine. But like, try not to drink as much. As a matter of fact, we're like, gonna be together from now on. I want to like, spend more time with you since you're like, always late!"

Conker shook his head, sobering up and sighing. "Ok then. Just try not to toot your own horn." he joked, chuckling a bit.

Berri bumped Conker with her big, mushy butt, farting loudly as she did as the brown liquid started going down her legs, offended by his joke as she and Conker walked back to Windy, with Berri farting the whole way as she accidently left some baked brownies behind her.


	13. Chapter 13

Conker and Berri were walking through Windy together as Berri continued releasing more loud fart as the back of her pink jeans got browner and browner.

"So Berri, you want to go to Click Clock Wood? It's lovely this time of year."

Berri simply scoffed as she pooted loudly again, her raunchy fart turning we towards the end as it somehow puffed up the back of her poop covered jeans. "Like, as if! Click Clock Wood has like, four seasons. So it's always nice in a few of the sections. Plus, that place has like, Zubbas! And enough gals like me, especially those who like, pooped themselves, have put up with the Zubbas!"

Conker placed his hand on his chin, thinking for a moment as Berri continued her disgusting fart fest, then he got an idea. "We'll go to the Winter section then! Not many of Mr. Rhedo's stories happen in that section! Plus the Zubba nest there is completely covered up and surely they're always hibernating there!"

Berri placed her hands on her hips, pooting again looking at her butt in disbelief as her "chocolate" stared making its way down her legs. "I really like, need to change first!"

"Y'know Berri, it would seem to me that Mr. Rhedo is obsessed with Click Clock Wood, which is why many of his stories go there, and why this author is tempted to go there too."

Berri rolled her eyes as she farted another deep-pitched big one. "So this fanfic is like, going there too? Whatever. Just give me a sec to like, change out of these jeans." Berri walked back to her house, more raunchy and wet farts erupting from her poop covered butt, which smelled worse than Poo Mountain.

"She's just gonna mess up her new pair of jeans anyway." Conker commented, breaking the fourth wall.


	14. Chapter 14

Berri farted so much, that Windy started to smell worse than Poo Mountain as Conker watched, intrigued by how much Berri was farting as she blushed with embarassment.

"Gosh, Berri. I think you're turning into Amy Rose, or Bianca, or that other blonde farting girl who cusses and smokes!" Conker mentioned.

"Like, are you talking about Hailey Flower?" Berri asked him.

"Yeah..." Conker stated. "Why does the author bring her up every now and again...?" Conker thought. "Oh never mind. Not many people who read these fanfics follow her on Tumblr or deviantArt...I think..."

"Like, can we please get back to the fanfic and help me do something about my gassiness, and the fact that like, this oven of mine is baking brownies faster than like, the cows from Poo Mountain when they get the Screaming Shits?"

Conker thought for a moment. "Hmm...why don't you go over to Poo Mountain and take a dump there while I think?"

"Like, fine!" Berri walked over to Poo Mountain, her hands on her butt as she tried to hold back her farts and her poop.

"Y'know, I could get used to this!" Conker stated, breaking the fourth wall again. "Even though the author needed an excuse to even start this thing!"


End file.
